In 2010, if you’re beefin’, you’re tweetin’. Twitter has become the proverbial playground where people can give one another digital wedgies and not have to fear any physical payback. Twitter is great for sharing information, connecting with friends and learning more about your favourite celebrity or organization. It is also a great place to act like a total tool. Many Twitter fights (Tights? Fwitters?) have made headlines. From Courtney to Billy, Perez to Spencer, let’s look at some of these fights and decide who wins, who loses, and needs to shut the tweet up.
Michael Lohan vs. Lindsay Lohan
Like most stable father/daughter relationships, Michael and Lindsay Lohan have taken to Twitter to air their dirty laundry in 140 characters or less. Whether he’s accusing Lindsay of being bad influence on her sister and needing rehab, or she’s telling the world that Michael is an abusive, compulsive liar, it’s just another day in the Lohan family. They put the ‘fun’ in howfriggendysfunctionalcanonefamilybe?
Verdict: Unfortunately, when your last name is Lohan there are no winners.
Spencer Pratt vs. Perez Hilton
On April 21 it became an all out war of the shameless when Spencer Pratt set his sights on the Queen of All Media, Perez Hilton. The lamest fight in history came to a head when the subject of the alleged Lauren Conrad sex tape came up. Just to be clear, neither Hilton nor Pratt were in the video. They just have nothing better to do than talk about someone else’s sex tape.
Verdict: Their punishment for almost crashing my Twitter? Hilton and Pratt make a sex tape. Fair is fair.
Ice T vs. Aimee Mann
Aimee Mann found out pretty quickly that Ice T didn’t become the OG (original gangsta) by pooping rainbows and kitty cats. When Mann tweeted smacked about T’s acting abilities on Law and Order, Ice T quickly responded with threats of a drive by (shooting). Mann quickly apologized…and possibly relocated.
Verdict: If you’re going to be an actor you should probably be able to take criticism without issuing death threats. Ice T: 0 Aimee Mann :0 Law and Order: 1 (I love that show)
Billy Corgan vs. Courtney Love (Michelle)
Billy Corgan has recently taken to Twitter to express his contempt for the Hole singer, who he says stole his songs for her latest album, Nobody’s Daughter. Corgan went for the lowest of low blows, tweeting about Love’s late husband Kurt Cobain and her loss of custody this year over her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. This week Corgan tweeted:
Thought #2: if you can’t write your own songs maybe you should just be happy that you fooled someone into doing your work for you…
Or, thought #3:maybe you should go someone nice+live off your husband’s money, u know the money he made for writing all those great songs.
Thought #5: the world is aware of your lack of responsibility, as seen in the gov’t taking away your parental right. Only u could abandon such a beautiful, incredible child who is smarter than u, cooler than u, and better than u. Oops, did I say too much?
Verdict: Last time I checked, Nobody’s Daughter was being praised by critics and Corgan was recording a theme song to a reality show with Jessica Simpson. I think we know who the winner is here.
Jim Carrey vs. Jim Carrey
After Carrey’s break up with longtime girlfriend Jenny McCarthy earlier this month, the funny man has become less funny haha and more funny uh oh. Carrey’s tweets were incoherent rambles and the actor even touched on the Tiger Woods affairs, defending Woods and blaming Elin for not noticing that her husband was cheating. When his tweets started gaining media attention, Carrey responded by tweeting My people called and said I might have to tame my tweets a little. So here goes…I’m going to make a sandwich now. peanut butter.(sigh) ;^\ I guess you have to be a little crazy to be a comedic genius, right? Right? Eeks.
Verdict: Jim Carrey the actor: 1 Jim Carrey the person: Yikes